*Sometime between “Sure why not.” and “Hey, the police are at the door.”*
Jesse: *covers his nose* I can actually see the stench.
Jordan: That’s commercialism for you.
Jesse: This was a bad idea.
Jordan: We did get a good laugh out of that saleswoman.
Jesse: How long do you think she talked before we pulled out the ear plugs?
Jordan: A good half hour.
Jesse: What was she selling?
Jordan: Hats… or lights?
Jesse: Ooh, lights, I hate lights.
Jordan: They’re so blinky and cheerful.
Jesse: They give me headaches, and distract drivers.
Jordan: Who then run off the road and get stuck?
Jesse: Ooh, we should go back and buy lights.
* * *
Jordan: How long did we yell at that saleslady before she convinced us she wasn’t selling lights?
Jesse: Oh a good half hour.
Jordan: Who ever thought that buying lights would be so much fun?
Jesse: And we haven’t even bought the lights yet!
Jordan: She looked mad when we left.
Jordan: Hey, look! Christmas carolers!
Jesse: Let’s knock ‘em over!
Jordan: Go get that shopping cart.
Jesse: Why not this one with the unattended child?
Jordan: As fun as that would be, the cart there, filled with appliances, will have a much better impact.
Jesse: Can we put the appliances in with the kid?
Jordan: We’ll have to hurry.
Jesse: Is that Sam leading the carolers?
Jordan: *glares* Here. I’ll ride the cart.
* * *
Jordan: Sam didn’t take that very well.
Jesse: Not many people can withstand a shopping cart filled with appliances and one screaming child when it barrels into them at thirty miles an hour.
Jordan: Attaching the scuba tanks was a stroke of genius.
Jesse: Meh, I watched Jumangi the other day.
Jordan: It was good thinking.
Jesse: Well you did the steering.
Jordan: It was nothing… It’s a good thing this town has two malls.
Jesse: Yea, I’m glad we started out at the smaller one.
Jordan: Look garlands!
Jesse: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Jesse: We’ll have to stop by the music store.
Jordan: You know, we’ve already been kicked out of one mall.
Jesse: We went willingly, before anyone recovered from the crash.
Jordan: I managed to get some Christmas 'shopping' done on the way out.
Jesse: Oh, what’d you pick up?
Jordan: A couple of those hydraulic nail guns. Our neighbor put up an inflatable snowman this year. I will probably purge the town of inflatables while I’m at it.
Jesse: I think those were on dad’s wish list.
Jordan: That’s a plus.
Jesse: Oh, here we are. Music store.
*little electronic entry announcing bell sounds and Jordan rips it out of the doorframe*
Jesse: Hello there salesperson, we’d like to see your guitars.
* * *
Jesse: He seemed shocked.
Jordan: *poised on the railing of the second floor, garland rope in hand, guitar slung on his back.* You’d think he’d be relieved. Everyone hates those little electronic entry announcing bells.
Jesse: *climbing to a similar position* I guess next time we’ll just go through the store front window and avoid the sensor all together.
Jordan: Okay, so the goal is too swing through that giant hoop
Jordan: Giant wreath, grab another garland and swing on, letting go and landing on
Jordan: I was gonna say a little old lady, but if you want to harass carolers again…
Jesse: No, I mean, carolers, the ones from the other mall. They’ve come. They’re here.
Jordan: I’ll swing first, Frodo.
Jesse: Last one out the door is rotten eggnog.