I got married back in July, to a beautiful, Godly, intelligent, kind, patient woman. She is truly the best thing to ever happen to me and I would do anything to try and pay back all that I owe her.
Unfortunately, I'm already a bit behind in that account, at least monetarily. I'm pursuing my master's degree in Higher Education Administration at UMKC. It costs a little. Not more than we can afford, but enough that we need to pay attention to what we spend every month. Which we should be doing anyway.
Now I've always been pretty thrifty when it comes to spending money on myself. I just don't do it. If I can't say those all important five words, "This is under ten dollars," then I'm not likely to purchase something. Eventually, I know, there will be some thing for $100 that I will want much more than ten $10 items. And I still probably won't buy it. Because...
I have tried with somewhat less than complete success to be free with my money for my friends. I hope they agree with me or call me out if I'm wrong, but I've tried. My friends are a much better investment than any material objects.
And I've never really been able to prevent myself spending money on my wife, especially while we dating. Why especially then? It was my money. I had earned it, either by working or by dint of being my father's son.
What's difficult for me now is that most of our money, my wife's and mine in the joint account, was earned by her. Heck, all of it, becuase my money turns right around and pays for half of my tuition. So I feel terrible objecting to purchases. It's an awful nexus where I'm torn between my thifty ways and my heartfelt desire to provide her with any she wants, knowing I can't, and feeling like I'm restricting her from using her own money.
And money is the only thing we've have ever clashed over. I truly see now why Jesus spent so much time addressing the issue of earthly wealth. It's confusing. It has a hold on our lives that none of us are comfortable with, but it seems so necessary to pursue it if we want to survive and thrive...
I drive past construction workers on my way to work. They're pouring concrete for new sidewalks and curbs along Holmes Street near UMKC. And I wish I was there with them because they're working hard and earning a paycheck. I'm fooling around getting another degree because I picked a lousy undergraduate major and refuse to grow up and leave college... At least that's how I feel sometimes. My wife has assured my she thinks no such thing of me.
Which means I owe her all the more. :-)
The job I have now only lasts till February. I was not hired for a position I applied for that payed tuition and stipend that would have lasted all semester at the least. I got the job I have now because God dropped it in my lap. As He kind of did with every other job I've ever had. I'll trust Him to find me another one as I conduct my own mortal-inhibited search.
Update: He did it again. I secured a GA position that paid $1000 a month, plus 6 hours of tuition. Then he proceeded to land me a job via the internship required for my masters. I'm blessed, and I recognize that and take no credit for my achievements. I'm not just blessed, I'm (insert maniacal laughter) blessed.
Because I must...
I was a highwayman. Along the coach roads I did ride.
Sword and pistol by my side.
Many a young maid lost her baubles to my trade.
Many a soldier shed his lifeblood on my blade.
- Highwayman, by The Highwaymen